Insight into my mind.

Well my brain is working overtime this evening.. this morning rather.

Firstly I am over the "holidays". Not our school holidays; how could I ever get sick of endless days doing household chores and not being cool enough to be invited anywhere (please anyone, invite me out). But rather this Christmas season. Don't get me wrong. I think it is a beautiful holiday, a good time to remember the enormity of God's gift to us and of course Christmas lunch is the best meal of the year. What annoys me is that while I innocently watch some TV with my dad every company in existence tells me I have to buy their product or my Christmas will be horrible. So excuse me while I go to Coles and buy 'something to keep the whole family happy this christmas'. Dear Mr. Coles man, do you think my family and I are a collection of depression sufferees? We are very happy and blessed. You're turkey doesn't do anything. And right after I go to Coles, I'll head over A-Mart All Sports for 'all my christmas needs'. Wow. I must spend way too much time on my computer to have missed noticing the fact that every member of my family wants a treadmill for Xmas. The ads go on and on. They annoy and annoy.

Another thing on my mind is heaven. I know that God is smarter than myself and knows all answers to everything, but I don't. So that means I will think in weird ways about it. As a teenager of the 21st century, I get bored easily. I have long-abandoned Myspace because it couldn't entertain me enough. I want to see the world but I know once I see it I'll be like 'Meh. Been there. Done that.' So how is heaven going to efficiently entertain me forever. My little mind can not see how there is enough stuff to go for eternity. I have several theories. Every once in while our minds get wiped clean and we think have only just come to heaven. But I also think that this theory is too world-like. I suppose when we get to heaven we just bop around feeling peaceful. And well, God being God, that peace is surely going to be something like a bubble bath (meaning that it's something that never grows old, never gets boring). Oh wouldn't that be fine. An eternal bubble bath. With nice smelling oils and candles and the water would never be too hot or too cold. Ah. I do wonder if heaven is different for every individual. If it is how many films and books depict. A person gets to live in their 'perfect world'. Kind of like this really snobby and conceited girl (who really bugged me) in a book I read (it was called "The Best Ten Days Of My Life") and she got to live in a really nice house with the fanciest clothes and jewellrey, and with a very good-looking guy. But where would God fit into that kind of heaven. We wouldn't need him really. I want there to be God in my heaven. On the other hand though, when we get to heaven do we see every other person who has come to heaven? Or is it just us bopping around with God. And also, a point that was made at Christian Group a fair while ago; does heaven mean we 'see' God/ is He still 'out of sight'? Are we able to feel him being there more? I don't know. I suppose the idea of eternity scares me because it is such a big thing and I'm such a little girl.

Something else on my mind. When I am a mother will I tell my children about Father Christmas? I just keep thinking against it. Like the fact that it is lying and the part where they feel I have let them down when they realize that he's not really there. Or do I let my children feel the joy and hope that comes from believing in Father Christmas. Or is that a bad joy and a bad hope. I want my kids to put all their hope and joy in Christ, not Santa. Hope in Christ is forever. Hope in Saint Nick is about 5 years. And is it good to let them think that they can have everything they ask for because they have been good children. Or that they have to be good to earn things. I'd rather my children know that there is a God who will love them very much no matter what they do and gives them a present much greater than dolls and toy trains. Salvation. Which really is a much greater part of Christmas than Father Christmas (or A-Mart All Sports for that matter). I want my children to never know greed. I want them to always feel that they have recieved and are always giving love.

Love and Merry Christmas, May you rejoice in the real meaning of Christmas this season.